Relationships

In my 31 year old life I have had a countless number of relationships with nameless, faceless guys, who I either barley think about or do not remember at all. I cannot count all the guys I ever dated, nor do I want to. I do not remember special moments of intimacy or dreams I may have had with them. Out of all the guys I have ever dated or liked only two really stick out in my heart and mind. They are night and day. I loved one with a deep obsession and yet I never showed him the real me. I was always afraid that he would not like what was underneath the surface. The other I showed him every part of me the good & the bad. And you know what he loved me still.

I was trying to come up with something about relationships. I even wrote a long blog about all my relationships. But you know what, a relationship is what you make it. If you let a person stump all over you, then they will. If you let a person love you for who you are then they will. It’s a really big step to open up your heart and soul to a person, try to be sure it’s the right person. I opened myself up to the wrong person and I feel like I’m still paying for it. Even with the right person constantly loving me, I still feel the hurt and the pain of the wrong person.

I don’t have a perfect relationship but my relationship is perfect for me. It’s important to me to be able to open up every part of who I am to the person I’m with and for him to say, “That’s a little crazy, but hey I love her anyway.”